Do you feel that you’re not at your best?

Here’s one thing I noticed a while ago.

I’ve been playing really small…

And I decided to change it now!

A friend of mine once told me, many years ago:

“We have to be supermodels.”

I loved the sentence because I’d never even thought of it that way, that I could “be a super model.”

And I was also glad my friend felt I could be one ;)

At the time I thought:

“That’s right, why not?”

But I only understood what that phrase really means now.

You really have to be a top model, because you deserve to be all you can be.

The best version of yourself.

And the problem is we spend our lives hiding and we don’t even try, because we can’t see our possibilities.

We think we don’t have what it takes …

Why would you be satisfied with being average or worse, when you can be at the top?

When you can be at your best?

Why do we give up and let ourselves go and don’t demand more of ourselves?

Why don’t we see ourselves like very valuable women and treat ourselves as the valuable women we are?

To tell you the truth, I felt a bit down when I realised I’ve been doing this…

Because of all the time I wasted so far, not caring for real about the way I looked. And not feeling as great as I could have felt.

Maybe you’re thinking … Without caring about the way you look? But you work in fashion!

Right… and yet I’ve mostly done as little as possible.

Although I know what I need to do to be at my best, I chose not to do it for day-to-day. And I only make a real effort for a VERY special occasion – like a wedding, appearing on TV, a fashion event, etc.

But now I realized that I can and should do this every day!

That’s the difference between treating myself like a queen who deserves the best every day, or being satisfied with being less than I can be.

Why are we satisfied with being less than we can be?

In my case, I thought of several things:

When I was a teenager, I was very feminist and I thought that I shouldn’t dress like a girl. So for years I didn’t like dresses, skirts, pink, etc. (that I love now ;))

Being feminine meant surrendering and being a girl… and I wansn’t going to surrender to the “male-dominated society”. So in a way I lost the freedom to be who I wanted to be.

On the other hand my mother (and society) taught me that I shouldn’t worry too much about the way I looked. That made me feel guilty if I took more time to take care of myself or put on some make-up, spent more time thinking about clothes, etc.

Another thing was looking at all the fashion magazines with perfect women and thinking: “I’ll never be as ____ so it’s better to do nothing.”

A pretty common reason is when we don’t want to outshine other people so we try to “disappear”, and not take too much attention.

To find your own reasons ask yourself:

Why don’t I make an effort to REALLY be at my best (regarding my style and image)?

What bothers me is thinking how I could have been at my best all these years but never cared too much, never made a real effort …

One way I didn’t take care of my appearance

I’ll give you a small example about my hair:

I din’t get a professional blow out many times – despite several friends and hairstylists praising my hair. The problem is that it only looks amazing when I style it at a salon because it has lots of volume and usually looks super weird when it dries naturally so guess what….

I spent most of my adult life with a pony tail or a giant hair instead of walking with a beautiful hair that made me feel like that top model :). Because it’s true that beautiful hair makes me feel more confident and at my best.

And I never really cared about my hair.

For example, two years ago I was cutting my hair with a girl that I thought was good at what she did, and I let her cut while I was reading a book. So, I didn’t notice that she was using a razor and made my hair kind of a total disaster – the damage was such that only now, after two years, my hair is getting back to looking normal again. At the time I cried and cried and swore that it wouldn’t happen again, but it was too late … and that’s how I kept sabotaging myself.

So How Can You Value Yourself More?

If you want to feel like a valuable woman, you can’t ignore a very important part of being a woman: wanting to feel beautiful and attractive.

Women have this desire.

So, decide you have to be a top model, and treat yourself as one!

Now, I’m not saying to go to the other extreme of wanting to always be 100% perfect, because that’s also not positive.

It doesn’t mean to be unhappy unless you have a perfect body or the perfect make-up and the perfect outfit…

But it does mean to make an effort to be at your best, every day.

That way you’ll feel great and more valuable.

You’ll also inspire all women around you, because you’re the example to the people around you….

What was the example that my mother gave me?

What is the example I’ve been giving my daughter?

An average example maybe … but as I heard the other day: average is mediocre.

I’ve been giving the example that we don’t deserve more. That I don’t value myself enough to make an effort to look like I think I should… so I feel like a supermodel, every day!

Even if it’s an off-duty top model ;)

Now I have to say thank you for all this time I didn’t take care of myself at 100%.

It allowed me to realize that, despite not being able to go back and be at my best all the times I wasn’t, I can be always at my best, from now on.

I hope you’ll do the same for you!

That you see yourself as a top model from now on, because you are!

You just need to take care of yourself for real, like a top model does.

Seeing yourself as a woman with lots of value, who can be at her best in all areas of her life.

Including one that is so much a part of being a woman: your appearance and your beauty.

In the next post I will talk about other ways of valuing ourselves but in other areas of your life.

Love,
Lena*

P.S. Here’s something you can do now: get rid of any piece of clothing that doesn’t not make you feel like a top model and start wearing those pieces that make you feel like one :) xoxoxo

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