Lately I’ve been feeling a lack of inspiration to write on the blog.
There’s a lot of resistance!
I talked before about my doubts regarding what to write about. On the one side, I feel like writing more about personal development, coaching, and so on. Which is one of my passions. I’m always learning more and discovering things that I think that are interesting for you too!
On the other side, I think you rather hear about fashion and style. So I stay stuck ;)
In the meanwhile, I’ve decided to write about the two themes, because really, coaching helps with any change, including your image and style. So I hope you like it!
Today I want to tell you about resistance.
I realized resistance sucks.
And what is resistance? – you ask ;)
For me, resistance is a super annoying thing that shows up when you decide to do something, whatever it is, that your ego sees has dangerous. That means, anything different than what you usually do!!! This is not the ego from psychology, it’s that part of us that warns us about danger – our most primitive brain.
Because everything different might be dangerous (in the eyes of the ego), anytime we decide to do something new, we get scared. And the worst thing is that, sometimes, that fear makes you give up what you want to do.
For example, I started taking surf lessons some time ago. For my ego, of course that is DANGER ;)!!! So I started to have all kinds of fears and thoughts that made me feel like not going, like:
- you’ll just look foolish, maybe you won’t even be able to stand up
- it’s too complicated, you have to put on a wetsuit, and you’ll take ages to reach the water
- you won’t know what to do, it will be awkward
- and so on
So it took me almost TWO YEARS, from the first time that I thought I wanted to learn how to Surf, to the day I did my first class!!! Because with all that resistance (and at the time I wasn’t quite aware of it), it was easier to give up then to go forward.
After the first class, which after all went quite well and I loved, it started the resistance – part two. By then I was more determined to continue because I loved the first class. But even then, more fears started to show up:
- you probably did everything wrong
- you’ll never learn how to do it well
- it’s too tyring
- and so on
Anyway, after one month or two, I scheduled another class. Only this time it was in September and the waves were HUGE. And unlike my first class, that was super easy with small waves, I was wrapped more than a thousand times ;) What made me feel better was that one of the teachers talked with me after the class and told me that for a beginner, on a level of 0 to 10, I started at a 10. I was more relieved. And one of my coleagues came to talk to me and asked me if I was going in the following day, because it was her last one. At the time, still excited about the good part of the surf class, I thought: “Why not?” – and I scheduled for the following day.
But in the following morning, I came to my senses about the bad part of the class ;): that I was wrapped lots of time (which I don’t like at all) and I was really cold by the end of the class, although I had a wetsuit. Of course my ego wanted me to give it up and my resistance was at an all time high:
- why are you going with those big waves? that isn’t good for beginners…
- something might go wrong
- there will be lots of people (it was an holiday) and you can get hit by a board
- you’ll feel cold
- and so on
In spite of all of that, I started making my way to the beach and in the end, I decided to go anyway, because I love waves and Surf! And it was awesome because the waves were small after all, the weather was great and I had a marvellous class :)))
And now I see the surf report before classes and avoid the big waves! I’ll leave them to when I’m a PRO :)
So I wanted to tell you that I have been more and more conscious about my resistance and that’s great. Because I don’t let all my fears guide me, or all the reasons my ego gives me to give up. I already know that it’s a defense mechanism and that most fears aren’t real. So it’s easier to keep going forward!
In relation to style, you can also feel this kind of fear when you want to take a risk like wearing a different outfit. Or a new hairstyle. Or anything that is a change. You can then remember that it’s only your ego and everything is probably fine!
Go ahead and do what you desire to do.
And when resistance shows up, listen, say thank you and… run to the waves :)
P.S. I have 2 spots to work with me 1:1. I have a new coaching program to help you reach your goals and dreams. If you’re tired of being stuck, feeling trapped and want to change, send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. xxx