I returned from my tiny vacation in Algarve (I’ll go once more in August ;)).
These holidays were very enlightening.

Maybe they weren’t the best holidays in the world, but I realized that I accept a lot of things that have nothing to do with what I actually want.

I realized that I may have many ideas, but when someone tells me no, I immediately start to give up. To give up on me and what I want to do, on what’s really important to me. I start to abandon myself. And it’s so easy giving up on me.

It’s hard to admit this, but I’m happy because now that I’m aware, I can change. And now that I’m aware, I can’t go back.

I also did somethings my way. Not without much hesitation and doubt. But I ended up renting a house in the exact place I wanted and that part went great.
When I did what I wanted to do when I followed my intuition, that’s when I had the most fun and everything went well.
When I didn’t do what I wanted to do, when I didn’t follow my ideas, it cost me the most.

But I think it’s a breakthrough, to be aware that I have abandoned myself. And to listen to my feelings and realizing they’re sending me a clear message about what is right and wrong for me.

With this information, I can change things and create a life that has to do with me, with my needs and desires.

It’s not that easy to feel our feelings. especially when it’s about things we can’t change. And it’s hard to stop trying to change what we know it’s true and simply accept it.

Because there are these two sides of the coin:

  1. on the one hand, accept everything, let go of everything, surrender to everything that is happening at the moment. and be thankful for all that I have.
  2. on the other hand, act to change what I can and create a life that I love.

Now I’ve been working to accept everything and that also helps me to overcome everything. because after feeling the feelings, we get stronger.

This quote also talks about it (it’s from Anne with an E, from Netflix ):

“It would be your duty to bear it if you could not avoid it: it is weak and silly to say you can not bear what is your fate to be required to bear” – Jane Eyre

So this vacation, in the middle of going to the beach, swimming and playing games, I had some annoying, but important, life lessons ;)

And now I’m surer of what I want (and don’t want), on my next vacation!

How to have the ideal holidays, for you

To recap:

Listen to (and feel) your feelings and realize what they want to say: what makes you happy and what you don’t really like. And keep changing things so you have more of what makes you happy and less than you don’t like.

On the other hand, accept and be grateful for everything you can’t change now (or ever).

I hope you have a great vacay!
Love,
Lena*

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