Today I’m talking about some ways to start changing your life!

But first I want to talk about the future of the blog.

When I started blogging and decided to sell products and do things to help women with their style, I was more focused on what I should do to get people results and also what they might want or need.

But over time, I began to lose interest in working this way, mainly because it felt i was always talking about the same stuff.

On the one hand, it’s natural that i talk about fashion and that it’s what people need to hear. On the other hand I also want to talk about other things, especially personal development, because it’s an area that I really love and where I’m always learning. So I always have new things to say and I can share my journey. On the other hand I also feel that it’s the best way to help anyone improve, in any area, including style.

But this is nothing new, you must have noticed that that I’m already talking about coaching and personal development. So I’ll keep doing that – talking about fashion and personal development.

Just a warning so you’re not surprised by posts that seem to have nothing to do with fashion or style (although they have because everything is related and every life area influences the others ;)

I also wanted to tell you a bit about my self-development story and why I’m so interested in self-development.

Since my teens or even before (because I moved to Macao when I was 13 and I had read my father’s personal development books before), self-development always inspired me and made me feel that everything is possible and that the world is amazing.

I got over my limits and I could see things differently, which made me feel really happy and alive.

Also since my teens, I’ve had to learn to deal with my feelings and thoughts and let’s say that they aren’t always the best… sometimes they’re anything but positive, happy and joyful (if you know what I mean ;))

But now I can deal with lots of situations, triggers, people, relationships, frustrations, in a better way.

I’ve learned to look at things in another way and that most of our thoughts have little to no interest.

I’ve learned that we need to notice our thoughts so we can change them and that’s essential to feel well.

I’ve learned that the goal isn’t to be happy all the time (that’s impossible anyway), but to feel good about ourselves and accepting all our feelings and thoughts.

I’ve learned that I’m valuable, even if I have unexplained fears, feelings I don’t like, behaviours I don’t understand.

I’ve learned to accept myself and to like myself more, although I know that I still have much more to learn.

I also learned that even if I think “I’m much better”, suddenly something can come up and I’m lost again, trying to figure out what to do in my life or how to feel better.

Maybe the biggest changes recently are the ones below…

4 Changes to Improve Your Life

1. Accept yourself, exactly as you are

The first change is to realize that one of the most important parts of feeling good about yourself is accepting yourself as you are.

Accept all parts of you, the good ones and the bad ones. Learn to stop being the good girl, and let yourself be the bad girl too. Don’t put yourself down and accept that we’re all good and bad, and that somethings what seems bad is also good, if seen by another angle.

For example, getting angry and sharing it can be bad if you hurt other people, but it’s also powerful when it’s an impulse to change an injustice or to defend yourself.

Accepting our shadow (which are the parts of us that we reject, usually in childhood) is essential to liking ourselves.

2. Admit that you are the creator of your life

Another important change for me was realizing that I’m 100% responsible for my life. I used to blame everything and everyone but me. And I also used to complain, a lot. lol. Sometimes I still do.

But I’m starting to realize that I’m the one creating my life, making the choices and everything that surrounds me now was created by me, one way or the other.

So, stop being a victim – it’s an important step to get your power back and start changing things.

Here are two important questions you can ask (about any situation):

  1. I created this. Why did I create this?
  2. How can I change?

3. See other people as mirrors

One more important change is realizing that people are mirrors, who show us (most of the time) what we think about ourselves and who we are or what we do.

When you know this, you can stop feeling bad about what others do to you and you can start to look at yourself instead. And try to understand: where are the doubts and feelings others show you coming from?

4. Set strong boundaries

Yet another change for me was to learn about boundaries and how to set boundaries in my life. And instead of always worrying about others (and doing everything I could to avoid disappointing them) and forgetting about me in the process, start thinking about myself first, my needs and desires. And start telling them to others.

It wasn’t easy, it isn’t easy and I often forget myself, but I’m learning.

In the comments below, tell me what you think you need the most:
Accepting yourself as you are, taking extreme responsibility for your life, noticing how people are mirrors or setting boundaries so you can take care of yourself?

I’d love to know!

Love,

Lena*

P.S. The new coaching program is already available! If you’d like to improve your life with the help of a coach, send an email to lena@lenapenteado.com and I’ll send you more info! xxx

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