Today I wanted to talk about decisions.
I was sunbathing in my garden, which is very tempting at this time of the year, when I realized that I avoid making big decisions. That I stay in limbo, in that place where I don’t decide. And I realized that of course I’m deciding. I’m deciding not to decide, and so stay in limbo. And let my life go with the flow.
There’s a coach I follow that said: “People ask me how I got this ideal life. And I answer that it I created it.”
I think we have two options: letting go and letting life run and things happen without giving our input, without risking anything, without making decisions.
Or decide what we want, take a bit of a risk, have a bit more courage.
I think what I often lack is courage. Courage to deal with the consequences of my decisions …
What if it goes wrong? What if this isn’t what I should have decided? What if I decide to do the exact opposite of what I should?
But when I thought about making decisions in my life I felt something different – instead of fear, which is what I feel when I’m hesitant, I felt confident.
I felt new hope as well.
And I felt I was going to make things happen instead of waiting.
I also noticed something else in the garden.
It’s that when I don’t decide, I not only let things go with the flow, but I also don’t invest seriously in the situation I am in.
Because as I haven’t decided, and I’m not very satisfied with the place where I’m at, I let myself be in the situation for more time and without improving it.
For example with my house, which is the easiest example:
I don’t decide to leave Alcochete or to stay. Since I don’t decide to stay, I don’t invest in this house. I don’t improve it, nor change it. Because it’s not worth it, since maybe I’m going to leave.
On the other hand, I don’t go to Lisbon to another house where I could invest more, because I don’t decide.
So the situation in which I’m in, since I didn’t decide otherwise, simply doesn’t improve.
And I’m don’t dedicate myself seriously to anything. .
One good journaling question to ask now is: What does this protect me from?
Because we do everything for a reason. So I don’t dedicate myself seriously because of something. And that reason is that our brain always wants to protect us. So it means that not dedicating myself seriously protects me from something.
From what? That is the question. I’m going to answer ;)
If you also have a hard time making decisions, answer it too.
Another good questions is: What are the decisions I must make right now?
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There are certain times in life, I don’t have to tell you, when we’re thrown a set of cards that basically throw US up against a wall and into a position of NO LONGER BEING ABLE TO AVOID HONOURING OUR TRUTH.
At some point there’s gotta be a line drawn in the damn sand.
You know it’s time.
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