How to get to know yourself?
First we need to know that we create a mask that is about what we think is right for society and what we have to do to survive.
And this is influenced by our parents, friends, society, etc.
For example, if you were a very talkative person who does a lot of noise and your parents criticized it for some reason. You might have decided that this is not safe.
So your mask will be of a quieter, more invisible person. And that’s how you are creating your own personality.
And that mask conditions you because you always want to show the world what you think is right. And you put into the unconscious what you don’t think is acceptable.
In our example, you put in the unconscious the person that appears more and show the world the opposite.
This stops you from knowing yourself, you only know the mask you’ve created.
So you need to to begin to integrate what is in your unconscious and you’ll know yourself fully, as you really are.
A good way to know your unconsious is to notice triggers. People who irritate you are gifts and wonderful because they show you what is unconscious.
When you reject a part of yourself, if someone shows it, you’ll criticize it.
In our example: if you think you have to be calm and invisible, if you see a person who makes a big party about things and is the center of attentions, you’ll feel annoyed.
That person is showing you what you have in your unconscious. And you can integrate those parts into yourself, to get to know yourself fully.
So here’s an exercise to know yourself:
When a person annoys you, ask 4 questions:
- What is a characteristic that defines this person? Ex: A person who occupies a lot of space
- Who do I need to be, to avoid being like this? Ex: more discreet and quiet
- How does that limit my life? This characteristic that you criticize has advantages and if you reject it, you’re limiting yourself. Ex: if something amazing happens, you won’t be able to make a big celebration out of it.
- What would a person who is the center of attention do? (in our example) And you start to act more that way. And then you start to integrate that part of yourself and you’ll be more who you really are.
Try it and tell me how it went!
P.S. Do you want to be calmer in your life? Then try out the Calm & Powerful workshop. It’s free and you can see it now here: https://www.lenapenteado.com/free-calm-session
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