Today I wanted to tell you about the rules we all have. Rules about how the world should be, how people should treat us. And what does that mean about us.

For example, if someone criticises you, what do you think about it? Does it mean you’re wrong? Does it mean you have to blame yourself and change that? Or does it just mean that the other person is in a bad mood?

It doesn’t really matter.

What if, in any situation, you could see everything as good. You could think that nothing has a lot of importance, except the importance you give it?

I think that’s what it means, for an event to be neutral.

There’s nothing wrong with how people treat you, if you don’t let it have a meaning about who you are, or what you have to do at that moment.

But if you see that in the world, people are only showing you what’s on your mind. If you know that people are a reflection of what you think you can have …

How do you start looking at things differently?

Maybe that discussion doesn’t matter at all, because what seems like a critic is just the person running the script you gave him: Now you criticize me in this part, so that I can feel that I have been criticized and see what is going on inside me, when I’m criticized.

And the whole situation is just about you, and how you react and how you feel about criticism.

The others are there to show you the way, what you need to see inside you, so that you can be a bit more of who you really are.

So that you can accept and love yourself as you are. And from there you can also transform whatever you want.

The situation itself, the person, isn’t important. But it’s important to look within yourself, and see and feel what is there. And so, as you feel, the criticism stops affecting you so much. Stops being a theme for you.

And automatically, it seems that you stopped being criticized. One, because you don’t care anymore. Two, because you are starting to attract people who, instead of criticizing you, support you.

Why?

Because you no longer need those critics to go inside yourself. You already were there. You already added the part that is afraid of being criticized, to yourself. You accepted “being criticized” and you already know that that doesn’t mean anything about you. You already love yourself, whether you’re criticized or not. Whether you’re supported or not.

If you’re expecting to be treated in a certain way, if you try to control the people around you, it won’t go well. You can only control yourself.

Stop looking at others, and look at you. Stop looking for acceptance in the eyes of others and find it in your own eyes.

If someone criticizes you, you can also say: Where am I criticizing myself? Where am I criticizing others?

Nobody can criticize you if you don’t agree with it. If you don’t think it’s right. If you don’t doubt yourself.

And often what’s around us is also a reflection of what’s on our mind. If I criticize myself, I see others criticizing me. If I don’t accept criticizing others, I end up doing that, because what I resist, persists.

But I’ve said a lot, I hope I didn’t confuse you!

The most important thing is this: Everything is a reflection of you. Everything else is an illusion. Come back to you, look at you, accept yourself and like you. And then you’ll see it all around you too!

Lots of love,
Lena*

P.S. Do you want to like yourself more? Then you’ll like the challenge of style and success: Style & Wardrobe of Success.

It’s also about taking care of ourselves both outside and inside. And if you like style, about doing what you like.

Enter here: http://bit.ly/challenge_en

xxx

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