Today I wanted to talk to you about the fear of making mistakes, and of doing ridiculous things, or that people will criticise us. The fear of being ashamed, or of being rejected.
I also used to have this fear. I was super concerned, for example, with following trends, because what if I wore something that was out of fashion? My fear, in reality, was to be criticised, to be frowned upon. Maybe people would think less of me …
I wanted to convey a certain image of myself, which was not that of a poorly dressed or outdated person.
Why was that so important to me? Why is it so important what others think or say? Whether they like our outfit or not? How they evaluate us?
On the one hand we know that people evaluate us and get an impression of us by our appearance, but on the other hand, this may be important if we go on a date, or if we go on an interview. But does that matter, if we’re just going to the cafe and pass by people we don’t even know? Or if we go to work in a place where everyone already knows us? Fear of what they might comment?
The truth is that people don’t care about us that much either, although we think they do. On the other hand, yes, they can comment and a lot if we do some things that go against the “norms” of society, such as wearing very large cleavages, etc.
But everything we hear, all our fears, are a reflection of what is within us. There are people who wear what they want and don’t care about what others think! Why?
Because they don’t have that fear, perhaps because in their case, they saw valued, as they grew up: being different, showing who they are, expressing themselves, having fun, being creative with everything.
But it’s often the other way around, what we hear when we grow up is that we aren’t doing the right thing, that it’s not like that, that it’s better this way … and our parents, family, the well-intentioned people around us, are killing our creativity.
This was a phrase that I used a lot, and still use (now a lot less), in my home. When my husband tries to correct something for my children, some form of expression. For example: “This doesn’t look well together” – about a outfit that my daughter makes.
And I say to him, “Why are you killing creativity?” And he stays silent, because he already knows that I’m right ;)
All forms of expression are valid, everything my children see as important, interesting, the new things they try, I think are spectacular. Because it’s them, it comes from them, it’s their expression.
Sometimes I admire my daughter, in terms of style, because I remember how, with her age, I bought magazines and worried about seeing what’s in and out, learning what to wear and how. And although I didn’t feel that I could have the style I wanted, I felt more protected and secure in my choices.
But my daughter, wears what she likes, what she wants. She never cared about what’s in and out of fashion. She doesn’t buy fashion magazines. She sees ideas on the internet, yes, but she wears what she wants.
In some things she is similar to me, like wearing baggy clothes, but that she takes to the other extreme and wears XXL. Other times she takes a tighter dress and that’s what she wears. The freedom she has with fashion, it took me many years to learn how to have it.
For example, for years and years I never wore dresses, because I didn’t know how to choose them. I thought they didn’t look good. It was only when I went shopping with my sister-in-law Ana, that I started to wear dresses and that I realized that I could wear them and that there were many that looked good on me;)
All of this to tell you that the fear of making mistakes, the fear of being criticised, is within us. It comes from our past experiences. And I also made a video on instagram where I talk about it, and give some tips on how to overcome it.
Here are a few, quickly:
- Learn more about fashion / business / any other goal you have – and practice to learn even more. You’ll feel more confident and less afraid of making mistakes.
- Know that your fear of making mistakes is your ego trying to stop you. Trying that you’re not hurt by society, people, etc. Telling you not to take any chances, so you don’t feel criticized, ridiculous, etc.
- Face your fear. Feel the feeling in your body, let it be. You can ask it what it needs and why it’s here. As you feel, you’ll have less of that fear. And one way to be sure that you feel, is to act towards your goal, even if you are afraid. Buy the piece that you’re afraid of wearing, that you love. Wear it ;) Feel the fear and do it anyway.
And then you’ll realize that after all, it was easy.
And you might even get some compliments :)
Lots of love,
P.S. Do you want to learn more about fashion, style and success? Do you want to move forward in your life and create one or more goals / dreams that you have?
Here are the 3 programs that can help you now:
Create Your Style of the Season
Get Stylish Now System:
Golden Ticked: Style of Success – Free Style of Success Session:
For the Golden Ticket, make an appointment with me to talk or send me a message.
And I want to tell you about a bonus, which you get if you enter the program you want today (this bonus only lasts 48 hours, ends the day after tomorrow around noon).
And the bonus is a 1: 1 call of 60 minutes, in which I’ll show you How to Use Your Dreams, to Decide the Best Actions (to be taken in your life).
Every night we have dreams, even if we don’t remember them. Every day we have a way to access those dreams and understand what our unconscious is telling us, what clues it’s giving us, to move forward and have a more complete and happy life. In this call you’ll see how to start working with your unconscious, the most powerful part of your mind, which gives you messages to be able to live more and better ;)
Before our call I’ll send you a guide to know how to remember your dreams, and how to ask for help for something you want to solve / change in your life, and so you can bring your dream, for me to help you interpret, in our call.
Send me a message if you have any questions or are afraid to enter, for some reason!
Calm & Powerful
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